Right now the entire world is in the depths of panic. Its grip on our society is tight; each action making each person just a bit more worried.
But, hope is not lost. Yes, this is a global pandemic. People are dying. People are losing their jobs.
We cannot control everything, we have to accept this. It’s even more important right now.
What we can control:
- Our spending
- Our saving
- Our home environment and the anxiety level
- Our engagement with our children
- Our relationships with others
- What we eat and drink (to an extent)
There is no doubt the fall out from this disaster will be something our children’s children learn about in school one day. Let us take lessons from this.
- Build up savings
- Examine your life and get rid of everything that isn’t important
- Have lots of margin in your budget, wherever possible
- Be empathetic towards others
- Take only what you need
So many of us, me included, are so privileged. I can buy everything I need for a month in one shop. I have a home, we are not in financial distress. My kids are home all the time anyway. I don’t work. My husband works from home already. All of these things make it pretty easy for me to cope. But I’m a sensitive person and my current anxiety is about everyone out there who does have it tough. Everyone out there, all of the world.
Right now we have to be kind, we have to think of everyone. We have to do this to come out of this intact.
I was chatting with a friend about how difficult I was finding this current season of parenting. We haven’t long moved house and its to be expected that chaos may still feel like the dominant aspect of home life.
I often feel overwhelmed and exhausted by clutter, disorganisation and mess. I know I’m not alone! The first instinct I have in those moments is to clean and tidy. But this reaction doesn’t help me long term, as I am not learning better skills.
Sit with discomfort – learning to slow down, stay with the feelings of discomfort and feeling unsettled is part of becoming more intentional and mindful. You can accept difficult things and let them pass over you more easily by noticing your reactions.
Don’t spring to better organising – while it’s true having systems helps, organising your stuff won’t fix the problem. Decluttering helps, but ultimately working on your emotions and contentment will lead to less impulse shopping and stop the flow of stuff.
Be open to sharing – tell friends how you are feeling or write in a journal or blog. Know you’re not alone in these thoughts and feelings. By sharing you encourage others to notice and accept their own feelings, and you have a chance to process things through talking or writing.
Know that taking small steps to accept yourself is such a crucial but hard thing to do. Remember to show yourself self compassion.
One of the hardest things about being a parent to an autistic child is working out what you should be doing for them and then advocating for their needs.
A lot of parents are sent to ABA led therapy centres, but if you talk to autistic adults, they’ll tell you ABA is abuse.
My lesson has been realising that all the parenting advice is unhelpful for autistic children (and potentially for all) because it establishes a hierarchy and requires compliance.
What if we let kids be kids? What if we listened instead of demanded?
As a sensitive person, it’s heart breaking to see other families choosing to parent in an authoritarian manner and their kids struggling to make sense of it.
I’d love to see all parents taught about conscious parenting. To encourage their only personal growth journey and self awareness. To help children develop regulation and communication skills to recognise and manage their emotions. So we build empathy in children and ultimately society.
But how? I can write about it here, talk about it with other families but it feels like a drop in the ocean. I hope experts and writers find a way to have a broader reach for these topics.