Feeling less than when you’re at home with kids

Getting ahead cannot be the only motive that motivates people. You have to imagine what a good life is.

Henry Giroux

Being a stay at home parent is hard work, it’s beginning to feel thankless and it’s relentless. It’s not valued much by society. Everyone asks me what I do for work, and everyone is surprised to learn I’m not employed.

I worked for 13 years in the corporate PR and marketing industry. I have a double degree and started an honours degree. But everything ended because my kids need me at home, fully focused on them. It’s beyond the usual, but it’s OK. I value what I’m doing, but I wonder about the future.

My path over the past five years through minimalism has led me to a more simple and fulfilling life. Away from the pursuit of wealth, and to just being comfortable, to valuing what we have and making do with less.

I know one day I will have more time, and these years will be a more distant memory. I know I will miss the chubby faces, dirty hands and feet and the constant cries for help. I will not miss the lack of sleep. But I will miss nighttime feeds and cuddles. I will miss lying with my almost five year old while he falls asleep. I will miss how much they need me, as they won’t forever.

And when that time comes, and I have the space to do something more, I will find a way to explore my passions, to use my skills and offer something of value to society.

I won’t apologise for making my choice. It’s a valid choice, and in our situation, it’s probably less a choice than a need. But still, if I have to choose between being strung out from racing around and being busy, versus having the time to complete the housework, cooking and life admin, with still a small amount of time to play and rest, then I know the choice I’m making.

I’m lucky really.


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