Comparison games

Comparison is a tricky thing. As a mother to a non typically developing child, the temptation to compare is everywhere. It’s unavoidable. I hazard all parents struggle with comparison but there can be no doubt it’s more complicated for the smaller group of differently wired kiddos.

Everywhere you go, everything you read, there are typical kids growing, learning and developing along a pretty standard curve. Yes there are differences but overall most kids fit into the main part of a bell curve.

Whenever a special needs mama or parent says this, parents of typical kids just don’t get it, at least in my experience. They want to believe their kids are challenging, tough to handle etc. But there can be no comparison there.

Reading “special” by Melanie Dimmitt, she says

It comes down to not seeing your child as broken – be that broken in comparison to typically developing children, or a broken version of the child they were ‘meant’ to be

The answer to comparison woes is

  • Consider what your child and family CAN do
  • Consider the next step in your child’s development, on their timeline, their path
  • Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to; you’re not a bad person for doing so
  • Celebrate your child for who they are

Hopefully those steps can help temper comparison and the way it can wreak havoc on your contentment

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