How busyness + parenting impacts relationships

startsayingno

There are so many articles on the internet about the impact early parenthood has on relationships. I know that I am unlikely to contribute anything new, but part of me wants to share anyway in case it’s in some way relatable to anyone reading.

Being a parent is hard. It’s hard for everyone. When you bring other things to do such as strained relationships, a history of anxiety or depression or a tendency to not communicate, it makes being a parent all that more difficult. If you then add onto it a child with needs that go beyond the normal, patterns that don’t follow the normal curve, I think many relationships would unravel.

Minimalism has been a big part of managing my stress from the moment Ripley was born until just now. And it can also help couples prioritise their relationship too. I know I need to focus on my relationship with other things start taking over, as it breeds stress.

Some ways to curb stress in your life and allow time for your partner and family:

  • Think about how you want to spend your time, and remove everything else.
  • If you’re not sure, think about your values and what you find most important.
  • Think about your needs versus your wants. Consider how you are living your life and whether they align. Could you downsize, do you need two cars, could removing some of this excess allow you to work part-time or not at all?
  • Keep striving for your perfect simple life. More inspiration here
  • Courtney Carver says, if you can’t say ‘hell yeah’ to something, then just say no.
  • Simplicity gives pleasure, life should be about pleasure.
  • Sit with discomfort and feel OK about your choices.

Although it’s easy for me to write a short list like the one above, it’s not always easy to live it. I’ve made some choices in the past few months about how I spent my time that have caused me stress. I was agonising over whether or not to change that when I realised that the stress of the decision was making it worse. I knew in my heart what I wanted.

So I’m trying to live with the notion that saying no is really important to my well being and no one can tell me what I should do or need to be. It’s hard to overcome the programming of being busy because it’s a huge part of our society. But if you can apply a mentality of being less busy, saying no to things that are not part of who you are, that don’t and can’t exist alongside your values, then what are you doing?

#busyboycott

 

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